letter

i want to be free of the things that put my mind on alert. it is already late and i wonder why you can’t explain things better to me. chamomile tea is making me sleepy, but i can still hear you from the other room praying. how does it make you feel? does it give you the pleasures of watching a sunset? i wonder if you still like me if you knew more about me.

i want to keep this space my own, but i like it when you come here every once in a while. you told me i can be myself, but can i? i like walking in nature, do you like walking in nature? i wish i could count my steps instead of my phone doing it for me. can you take my phone somewhere where they can fix it? can they fix me too?

today i didn’t hear the cat that meows outside my window every night. i have been told he was in love, are you in love? i am in love. he clouds looked very beautiful today and also the sunset was amazing. i hope you saw it. you would think your god made them, i think those things are god. i am full of hope because you have helped me get better and i don’t know how to feel about that. i just think the days will get better and you and i can talk better. i hope i can hear that cat tomorrow.

i really do love you.

-mar